Dean writes:

Hi Im not asking this as a put down, Im really want to know your feelings and here another side. I saw your video and you are wearing the F cancer shirt, is this appropriate as a Christian to wear? I mean I see it and the whole time that word is going thru my head? Just asking your take. Im not saying Im right.

No offense taken, Dean. Thank you for asking! Well, we could get into a discussion about what “words” really are and what they mean verses what we choose for them to represent; or how swear-words are just face-sounds that are equally as meaningless as any other word in your vocabulary until you put some kind of intent behind it; or how all of that may or may not need to perfectly align with your religious beliefs or world views… But to be honest I’m just not really interested in those discussions. I don’t really do philosophy.

The easy answer is that I’m fine being me and I’m cool with you being you, and we’re all figuring out the madness of this spinning rock of dust in the best way we know how. But to engage in a hypothetical debate like ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ or ‘You know, the Bible says…” or “I think that Christians shouldn’t…” Honestly Dean, I’m just not into it. I’m not knocking you if this is what you like – please, by all means, explore these territories if they bring you joy – but if you want deep theological reasoning from me about this stuff, you just won’t find it here; my thoughts just have no desire to go there.

However, the pragmatic truth of the matter is that my wife’s favorite charity is one called Fuck Cancer. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 caner just over three years ago and our feelings about it are quite simple: seriously, fuck cancer and everything about it. She found this charity and it helped us during our struggle; we knew that we weren’t alone and that others felt the same as us – not only with our life-threatening life crisis but also our attitude towards it – because their published slogan perfectly summed up our feelings: “WE ARE SORRY IF YOU ARE OFFENDED OR HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE WORD FXCK… WE ARE OFFENDED AND HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE WORD CANCER.”

So my apologies if the crassness offends you, I understand completely. But at the same time (and again, no offense intended) I also don’t really care. Three years ago I learned that life is far too short to waste it on arguments that lead you right back to where you started (why people enjoy this I’ll never know, but I’ll leave that to the Philosophers), and that I just don’t have enough time (or interest) to ask, “should I say/do/think this thing based on what other people would think about me and/or my reputation?” I can tell you firsthand that this is a waste of my precious time (and yours) on this planet, so instead I choose to put my efforts towards the things that bring me closer to the people I love, and, by default, the things that they love as well. And if that drives some sort of a moral or idealogical wedge between me and someone else then that’s perfectly okay too. The world is more than big enough for all of us and our silly arguments; such a person will find someone else that does resonate with them. And in a way, that same wedge drives me closer to her, so I guess we all win, don’t we?

I hope that helps shed some light on this Dean, and thank you so much for reaching out! Take care and stay well,

Jayme